well, after over 2 gallons of my chili was devoured (featuring over 10 lbs of meat!) i would like to let the internet know that i came kind of close to 3rd place in the audience favorite award.
i have it from a VERY RELIABLE source (aka the host/promoter of the chili takedown) that i had a solid showing for votes and was edged out of third just barely.
SO YAY! out of 30 competitors i would say being in the top 5 is just swell, especially since i have only made that chili recipe once before.
next up: BACON takedown. i am thinking bacon fudge.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
convo between me and a grocery store cashier
Me: Hi...um ya'll don't sell cigarettes in here do you?
Cashier: No.......................(whispering) but we sell weed.
Me: Huh?
Cashier: (whispering, again) We sell weed.
Me: Ha! um, yeah i actually already have some of that...thanks
Cashier: Yeah?
- me looking down at my purchases: a bushel of fresh spinach, 3 packs of Jello (black cherry, strawberry and lime), 10 rolls of british rowntree candies (for my mother actually), and a bag of cheddar kettle corn (OMG SOOOO GOOD!)
Me: YEAH!
--------30 seconds pass-----------
Cashier: .........you smoke weed?!
Me: Doesn't everyone?!
Cashier: ha...true. debit or credit?
Me: Debit....ok thanks, have a good night!
Cashier: you too!!
Cashier: No.......................(whispering) but we sell weed.
Me: Huh?
Cashier: (whispering, again) We sell weed.
Me: Ha! um, yeah i actually already have some of that...thanks
Cashier: Yeah?
- me looking down at my purchases: a bushel of fresh spinach, 3 packs of Jello (black cherry, strawberry and lime), 10 rolls of british rowntree candies (for my mother actually), and a bag of cheddar kettle corn (OMG SOOOO GOOD!)
Me: YEAH!
--------30 seconds pass-----------
Cashier: .........you smoke weed?!
Me: Doesn't everyone?!
Cashier: ha...true. debit or credit?
Me: Debit....ok thanks, have a good night!
Cashier: you too!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
with ILLITERACY and justice for all.
this is what happens when your copy editor gets laid off.
ALSO, a clip from the brilliant recap of MTV's "The City" written by Gawker's Richard:
"So, um, yeah Whitney went on a date with your dad and then she had sad kangaroo dinner with Jay. Jay said "are you trying to make me jealous?" and Whitney blinked at him for a while and then a computer motherboard fell out of her face and God yelled "cut!"
heart richard forevs.
Monday, January 5, 2009
tell me how this makes sense
so i finally made it home to brooklyn only to be greeted by a $400 cell phone bill.
it was my FIRST t-mobile bill, a service i switched to in order to SAVE money per month seeing as i have no green. so i freak out, i have horribly mediocre dreams related to stress about boys and public humiliation all night and wake my ass up nice and early to head to the t-mobile store to ask the age old question, "what the fuck!?"
as it turns out t-mobile does not consider the UNITED STATES virgin islands, where i grew up and where my parents still reside, a US call therefore it is international, therefore i got charged out the ass for them. even the fucking security guard in the t-mobile store, upon being left alone with me while my attendant spoke with his manager in the secret (7th circle of hell) t-mobile office, had to drive the stake deeper by being verbally awed at my naivety. GUESS WHAT ASSHOLE, THE US VIRGIN ISLANDS ARE A TERRITORY, I KNOW THEY ARE NOT STATES, I'M NOT RETARDED, AND TO PROVE THAT I SUBMIT INTO EVIDENCE EXHIBIT A. I AM NOT A SECURITY GUARD AT THE T-MOBILE STORE IN CHELSEA.
ok, ok...that's enough sydney, i know that was a bit out of hand. i don't even have a real job so he obviously is smarter than me.
so my attendant puts me on the phone with the customer service people and i try to set up a payment plan for the $400 bill i will definitely not be able to pay by january 15th and GUESS FUCKING WHAT?! because i am a new customer i am not allowed to set up a payment plan, since it is my first bill. BUT HERE IS WHERE IT GETS REALLY GOOD. if i let my due date pass and let my account go into suspension then i can set up a payment plan. so i ask, "are there going to be late fees incurred when my account goes into suspension" to which the obvious answer is "YES!!!!!"
so i would like to know who the fucking brain trust is behind that brilliant idea.
and i also would like to briefly state reasons why the world should stop shitting on me:
1. i am a fairly decent and caring individual, seriously when i play board games like Parcheesi where you get to move extra spaces for knocking your competitors back to home, i often choose to not do so and rather gain the love and respect of my opponents. stupid? maybe.
2. i have had a hard year...and by "year" i am talking non-calendar. or like think jewish year.
3. i can't think of more reasons right now because i am so stressed out just seriously, please stop. SAFE WORD...ORANGE. ORANGE ORANGE ORANGE ORANGE.
it was my FIRST t-mobile bill, a service i switched to in order to SAVE money per month seeing as i have no green. so i freak out, i have horribly mediocre dreams related to stress about boys and public humiliation all night and wake my ass up nice and early to head to the t-mobile store to ask the age old question, "what the fuck!?"
as it turns out t-mobile does not consider the UNITED STATES virgin islands, where i grew up and where my parents still reside, a US call therefore it is international, therefore i got charged out the ass for them. even the fucking security guard in the t-mobile store, upon being left alone with me while my attendant spoke with his manager in the secret (7th circle of hell) t-mobile office, had to drive the stake deeper by being verbally awed at my naivety. GUESS WHAT ASSHOLE, THE US VIRGIN ISLANDS ARE A TERRITORY, I KNOW THEY ARE NOT STATES, I'M NOT RETARDED, AND TO PROVE THAT I SUBMIT INTO EVIDENCE EXHIBIT A. I AM NOT A SECURITY GUARD AT THE T-MOBILE STORE IN CHELSEA.
ok, ok...that's enough sydney, i know that was a bit out of hand. i don't even have a real job so he obviously is smarter than me.
so my attendant puts me on the phone with the customer service people and i try to set up a payment plan for the $400 bill i will definitely not be able to pay by january 15th and GUESS FUCKING WHAT?! because i am a new customer i am not allowed to set up a payment plan, since it is my first bill. BUT HERE IS WHERE IT GETS REALLY GOOD. if i let my due date pass and let my account go into suspension then i can set up a payment plan. so i ask, "are there going to be late fees incurred when my account goes into suspension" to which the obvious answer is "YES!!!!!"
so i would like to know who the fucking brain trust is behind that brilliant idea.
and i also would like to briefly state reasons why the world should stop shitting on me:
1. i am a fairly decent and caring individual, seriously when i play board games like Parcheesi where you get to move extra spaces for knocking your competitors back to home, i often choose to not do so and rather gain the love and respect of my opponents. stupid? maybe.
2. i have had a hard year...and by "year" i am talking non-calendar. or like think jewish year.
3. i can't think of more reasons right now because i am so stressed out just seriously, please stop. SAFE WORD...ORANGE. ORANGE ORANGE ORANGE ORANGE.
Friday, December 26, 2008
why would you want to go home loveless?
BEST OF 2008 part II
well this year was not really "about" albums, although i am an avid music purchaser (and i mean the real shit, in the store or offline, none of this buying the album on itunes bullshit), i did not purchase many albums this year. but i have compiled a list of my faves, purchased or stolen:
note: i am only posting mp3s for songs whose artists were not mentioned in my top 10 songs of 2008 (except department of eagles because #1 album deserves 2 songs posted) to cut down on redundancies
TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2008 again...in my humble opinion:
10. Tallest Man On Earth "Shallow Grave"
9. Okay "Huggable Dust"
8. Black Keys "Attack & Release"
7. Portishead "Third"
6. The Dutchess & The Duke "She's the Dutchess, He's the Duke"
5. Fleet Foxes "Fleet Foxes"
4. The Walkmen "You and Me"
3. Born Ruffians "Red, Yellow & Blue"
2. Vivian Girls "Vivian Girls"
1. Department of Eagles "In Ear Park"
well this year was not really "about" albums, although i am an avid music purchaser (and i mean the real shit, in the store or offline, none of this buying the album on itunes bullshit), i did not purchase many albums this year. but i have compiled a list of my faves, purchased or stolen:
note: i am only posting mp3s for songs whose artists were not mentioned in my top 10 songs of 2008 (except department of eagles because #1 album deserves 2 songs posted) to cut down on redundancies
TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2008 again...in my humble opinion:
10. Tallest Man On Earth "Shallow Grave"
9. Okay "Huggable Dust"
8. Black Keys "Attack & Release"
7. Portishead "Third"
6. The Dutchess & The Duke "She's the Dutchess, He's the Duke"
5. Fleet Foxes "Fleet Foxes"
4. The Walkmen "You and Me"
3. Born Ruffians "Red, Yellow & Blue"
2. Vivian Girls "Vivian Girls"
1. Department of Eagles "In Ear Park"
i got a new pet!
he plays music from my ipod and dances and barks and has a light up face!
i need to think of a good name for him...
also, i made banana stuffed french toast with a streusel topping for christmas breakfast:
and...some more random pics from my aunt kathy's house:
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
i don't wanna (smoke marijuana) i just wanna get high
alright, let's do this. BEST OF 2008 part 1
this is what blogs are all about right? RIGHT? i'll start with:
TOP TEN SONGS OF 2008 in my humble opinion...
10. Lykke Li : Breaking It Up
9. Tallest Man On Earth : Pistol Dreams
8. Women : Black Rice
7. Fleet Foxes : White Winter Hymnal
6. Crystal Stilts : Crystal Stilts
5. The Walkmen : Four Provinces
SORRY, NO MP3 HERE
4. The Dutchess & The Duke : Reservoir Park
3. French Kicks : Sex Tourists
2. Vivian Girls : I Believe in Nothing
1. Department of Eagles : No One Does It Like You
this is what blogs are all about right? RIGHT? i'll start with:
TOP TEN SONGS OF 2008 in my humble opinion...
10. Lykke Li : Breaking It Up
9. Tallest Man On Earth : Pistol Dreams
8. Women : Black Rice
7. Fleet Foxes : White Winter Hymnal
6. Crystal Stilts : Crystal Stilts
5. The Walkmen : Four Provinces
SORRY, NO MP3 HERE
4. The Dutchess & The Duke : Reservoir Park
3. French Kicks : Sex Tourists
2. Vivian Girls : I Believe in Nothing
1. Department of Eagles : No One Does It Like You
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