boo-YA

thanks to the lovely Rahiel i got this pimpin marc by marc backpack for $25!!!!

can you believe it retails for $247.95 normally?!

i haven't done this in forever....

that's what she said! OOOOOOOOOOOOO

no but seriously...i don't really like Valentine's Day...i mean i am not gonna say i hate it because that just makes me sound like an angry "alone" person but today has been A-OKAY

i woke up at about 4:30am, which is roughly the time one of my roommates went to bed for the night, and began my ascent into life--or work life--as it were.

everything at work was decked out for VDay with pink and red and white and hearts and love and blah blah blah and my INCREDIBLY homofagtastic manager/asshole extraordinaire was SUPER EXCITED for the day because he obviously is one of those people who takes being alone as martyr status and has decided to be SUPER HAPPY being alone on a day when you are supposed to um...NOT be alone...and other than his incredibly assholish behavior (which is nothing out of the ordinary) work was totally bearable and overall pleasant.

and then i came home and started drinking, because honestly i have to be back at work at 7am again, which means getting up at about 5am AGAIN tomorrow and so people...i am on a tight schedule of fuckedupEDNESS and i had about a quarter bottle of red wine (mixed with a rockstar zero sugar/zero calorie energy bev NATCH) and now i am pounding my 2nd (count 'em 1, 2!) bud light and i called my:

grandparents (much easier to talk to for long periods of time once a bit tipsy)
andrew (to speak about my upcoming trip to boston)
mother (usually tipsy when i speak to her, me being tipsy makes us EVEN)
tim (best friend, must call because...well...i DO love him)

i texted:

maritza (from work...LOVE HER!)
farah (NATCH)
andrew (texted and called....plus points?!)
sister (because...um hello?!)





but overall my day has been not too bad on a scale of one to BAD and i love most people even though i do not have a natural smile NOR would i be considered an "open" person who people feel comfortable talking to right off the bat, although i am an "open book" in the sense that i tell people things really quickly that are personal/embarassing/off-putting and i am quite accepting of most people, ALSO weird people like to talk to me on the street/subway/public places of any kind.

i am rambling. blame the wine/energy beverage/beers.

thxkbye

i emerged (somewhat) victorious!

well, after over 2 gallons of my chili was devoured (featuring over 10 lbs of meat!) i would like to let the internet know that i came kind of close to 3rd place in the audience favorite award.

i have it from a VERY RELIABLE source (aka the host/promoter of the chili takedown) that i had a solid showing for votes and was edged out of third just barely.

SO YAY! out of 30 competitors i would say being in the top 5 is just swell, especially since i have only made that chili recipe once before.

next up: BACON takedown. i am thinking bacon fudge.

convo between me and a grocery store cashier

Me: Hi...um ya'll don't sell cigarettes in here do you?

Cashier: No.......................(whispering) but we sell weed.

Me: Huh?

Cashier: (whispering, again) We sell weed.

Me: Ha! um, yeah i actually already have some of that...thanks

Cashier: Yeah?

- me looking down at my purchases: a bushel of fresh spinach, 3 packs of Jello (black cherry, strawberry and lime), 10 rolls of british rowntree candies (for my mother actually), and a bag of cheddar kettle corn (OMG SOOOO GOOD!)

Me: YEAH!

--------30 seconds pass-----------

Cashier: .........you smoke weed?!

Me: Doesn't everyone?!

Cashier: ha...true. debit or credit?

Me: Debit....ok thanks, have a good night!

Cashier: you too!!

with ILLITERACY and justice for all.

this is what happens when your copy editor gets laid off.

ALSO, a clip from the brilliant recap of MTV's "The City" written by Gawker's Richard:

"So, um, yeah Whitney went on a date with your dad and then she had sad kangaroo dinner with Jay. Jay said "are you trying to make me jealous?" and Whitney blinked at him for a while and then a computer motherboard fell out of her face and God yelled "cut!"

heart richard forevs.

tell me how this makes sense

so i finally made it home to brooklyn only to be greeted by a $400 cell phone bill.

it was my FIRST t-mobile bill, a service i switched to in order to SAVE money per month seeing as i have no green. so i freak out, i have horribly mediocre dreams related to stress about boys and public humiliation all night and wake my ass up nice and early to head to the t-mobile store to ask the age old question, "what the fuck!?"

as it turns out t-mobile does not consider the UNITED STATES virgin islands, where i grew up and where my parents still reside, a US call therefore it is international, therefore i got charged out the ass for them. even the fucking security guard in the t-mobile store, upon being left alone with me while my attendant spoke with his manager in the secret (7th circle of hell) t-mobile office, had to drive the stake deeper by being verbally awed at my naivety. GUESS WHAT ASSHOLE, THE US VIRGIN ISLANDS ARE A TERRITORY, I KNOW THEY ARE NOT STATES, I'M NOT RETARDED, AND TO PROVE THAT I SUBMIT INTO EVIDENCE EXHIBIT A. I AM NOT A SECURITY GUARD AT THE T-MOBILE STORE IN CHELSEA.

ok, ok...that's enough sydney, i know that was a bit out of hand. i don't even have a real job so he obviously is smarter than me.

so my attendant puts me on the phone with the customer service people and i try to set up a payment plan for the $400 bill i will definitely not be able to pay by january 15th and GUESS FUCKING WHAT?! because i am a new customer i am not allowed to set up a payment plan, since it is my first bill. BUT HERE IS WHERE IT GETS REALLY GOOD. if i let my due date pass and let my account go into suspension then i can set up a payment plan. so i ask, "are there going to be late fees incurred when my account goes into suspension" to which the obvious answer is "YES!!!!!"

so i would like to know who the fucking brain trust is behind that brilliant idea.

and i also would like to briefly state reasons why the world should stop shitting on me:

1. i am a fairly decent and caring individual, seriously when i play board games like Parcheesi where you get to move extra spaces for knocking your competitors back to home, i often choose to not do so and rather gain the love and respect of my opponents. stupid? maybe.

2. i have had a hard year...and by "year" i am talking non-calendar. or like think jewish year.

3. i can't think of more reasons right now because i am so stressed out just seriously, please stop. SAFE WORD...ORANGE. ORANGE ORANGE ORANGE ORANGE.

why would you want to go home loveless?

BEST OF 2008 part II

well this year was not really "about" albums, although i am an avid music purchaser (and i mean the real shit, in the store or offline, none of this buying the album on itunes bullshit), i did not purchase many albums this year. but i have compiled a list of my faves, purchased or stolen:

note: i am only posting mp3s for songs whose artists were not mentioned in my top 10 songs of 2008 (except department of eagles because #1 album deserves 2 songs posted) to cut down on redundancies

TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2008 again...in my humble opinion:

10. Tallest Man On Earth "Shallow Grave"

9. Okay "Huggable Dust"




8. Black Keys "Attack & Release"



7. Portishead "Third"



6. The Dutchess & The Duke "She's the Dutchess, He's the Duke"

5. Fleet Foxes "Fleet Foxes"

4. The Walkmen "You and Me"



3. Born Ruffians "Red, Yellow & Blue"



2. Vivian Girls "Vivian Girls"

1. Department of Eagles "In Ear Park"