unpacking always yields interesting rediscovery

So I'm one of those people who doesn't really throw things away. I fear that someday I will own a house and as I get older it will just become amassed with "stuff". I will be a hoarder. On the other hand I have a serious interest in organization, and organizational tools. In fact, I can organize the shit out of someone else's life, but mine...I like the illusion of organization in my own life, however I truly am a mess.

But anyways, since I recently moved I of course am still in the process of unpacking.

Today I found an old notebook I apparently wrote a lot of poems in, for example:

.on road trips.

the darkness in my eyelids becomes consumed
with hazy images of the moon
divorced from the sun
one only coming up when the other descends

my eyes readjust ceaselessly
like when the only sleep you've gotten
is light
and interspersed between states
flying by the window

like houses filled with lives you'll never know

and lastly
there is the silhouette of you
on mornings i woke up
thinking that love
was a warm body next to me

I think I wrote that while in a car driving to the Bonarroo music festival, obviously I was becoming disillusioned with the relationship I was in at the time. Then there is this poem, which was collectively written by me and some friends as we walked 20 miles for Boston's "Walk for Hunger":

.on walking 20 miles (for hunger).

hunger on a muggy morning
two-legged desire forming
while stationary hominids cheer...

why aren't you walking?

Lastly in the poem department is this one:

.this is a "me" problem.

i want to know your voice
at every intonation
and volume
from the sound of you
whispering in my ear
to the scream you'd let out
if i dumped all of my problems at your feet

I believe I wrote that while in my junior year of college about an unrequited crush I had had for quite a while on a boy who will remain nameless.

I also wrote a lot of random notes in this book, quotes I like, random thoughts...such as:

"much of what we see as complex behavior is actually simple responses to a complex environment" - Sherry Turkle

"don't tease me about my hobbies, I don't tease you about being an asshole"
which I think might be from Magnolia...because right above where I wrote that there is a note that says "I need to see Magnolia again"

I still have not seen Magnolia again

I also wrote "the gulf war did not happen" which I'm pretty sure was something this girl in a class I took said, if I remember correctly she also believed the moon landing did not happen. God I loved college.

So it is rediscoveries like this notebook that make me happy I never throw things out, maybe someday it will be a horrible handicap but for now my hoarding provides me with a lot of entertainment.

"i'm no island...peninsula maybe"

For my first blog post EVER I would like to highlight some songs that have carried me through my last year or so of life. These are songs that have made me feel incredibly happy or incredibly sad, songs I could not help but dance to, songs that made me stop in my tracks, sit and.or lay down and just simply listen, and songs that I annoyingly played on repeat in my house.car.workplace.etc.

1. Int'l Players Anthem (I Choose You) by UGK feat. Outkast - seriously, this song has not worn on me at all, I still play it every time I am on a road trip at least 3 times.

2. Sleep Head by Passion Pit - there is something strange about people you went to school with starting to have real and tangible success, I suppose it is equivalent to how people older than me feel when all of their college buddies start getting engaged or having babies.

3. Skinny Love by Bon Iver - I have always really wanted to be able to sing, which is not to say that I can't sing, I mean I can hold a tune...I'm certainly not tone deaf by any stretch of the imagination, but really what I am getting at is that more than wanting to sing, I have always wanted to be able to sing like a man. I would want to sing like those men with vulnerability in their voice, ones that crack and warble...this song makes me want to sing like such a man more than any I've heard in a long time.

4. So Long to the Headstrong by Fleet Foxes - There is a line in this song that goes "of all the places I've laid down my head, I think of two I regret" and that is all I have to say about that one...

5. Nantes by Beirut - This is the first Beirut song that I really fell in love with and I first heard a live version of it he did walking down some street in Paris or somewhere equally as cultured and exotic, and of course by exotic I just mean not American, but it's just a gorgeous song especially when the whole band comes in and it's loud and lush. The idea behind it is just so complicatedly simple.

6. Glosoli by Sigur Ros - This song just helps me fall asleep...every time, and that is worth a lot to me.

7. So Sorry by Feist - Who doesn't want to be Feist? I know I do...

8. Electric Feel by MGMT - "I love that song 'Kids'" "No...no....'Time to Pretend'" No fuck all of you, Electric Feel is where it's at...

9. Dead and Lovely by Tom Waits - What's more romantic than dying in the moonlight? Can you tell me?

10. Whalebones by Man Man - I think this band is amazing, they are amazing live and on record, it's fun, it's weird, it's interesting, and even though they are great at making chaotic and reckless sounding messes of songs, I think they also do amazing slower, stripped down ballads. But of course I am using the word ballad loosely. Anyways, this song is off of the newer album and I think it's even the last track...and it definitely stuck with me